Jebediah Springfield |
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Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield, is the purported historical founder of the town of Springfield. Springfield had many famous quotations, such as "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man", and was well known for his silver tongue (literally; the silver tongue was a prosthesis, his original tongue having been bitten off by a Turk in a barroom brawl).
Springfield led a band of wagons westward along with his partner Shelbyville Manhattan; but they parted ways when Manhattan wanted to found a town where people could marry their cousins, and Springfield wanted a town devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavourless mush he called root-marm. Manhattan went on to found the rival town of Shelbyville.
On an expedition to Springfield's historic "Fort Sensible," Bart Simpson uncovered inconsistencies in the Jebediah legend. Lisa Simpson later proved that "Jebediah Springfield" was a bloodthirsty pirate and enemy of George Washington named Hprungfeld, who had changed his name to hide and who hated the town of Springfield.
Springfield is said to have dramatically killed a bear with his bare hands. A statue of this sits in the center of the Springfield town square, in front of the city hall. Contemporary historians believe the bear in fact probably killed him. The Springfield Marathon commemorates an occasion on which he ran across six states in order to avoid his creditors.
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